Returning to the Fold

Spiritual restoration requires that we take some difficult but necessary steps.

by Charles F. Stanley

The weight of serious sin is not a burden that God wants believers to bear alone. While all wrongdoing hinders our fellowship with Him, certain transgressions are accompanied by greater consequences. Some examples are fornication, adultery, embezzlement, or spouse abuse. In cases such as these, believers need the support of mature brothers and sisters in Christ who can guide them to ask for and accept the Lord’s forgiveness.

Godly Christians can also help restore fallen saints to fruitful service. I call this process “restoration.” The Enemy wants to trap God’s children in repeated sin, or at least convince them that the Father has no use for them. But if done properly, the restoration process will thwart the Devil’s plans.

This course of action is not for people "playing church." It's a glorious calling for the Christian, and is meant for believers who are serious about their walk with the Lord. A significant level of commitment is required, as the process is rigorous for both the one needing restoration and the mature Christian willing to assist.

The spirit in which we restore a fallen brother or sister makes a vital difference. Restoration must be done firmly but gently. We're not putting bandages on people—we're setting broken emotional and spiritual “bones.” The path to healing is often long and painful, requiring many difficult but necessary steps.

The steps to restoration are as follows:

Step 1: The sinning Christian recognizes his or her failure.
We need to help the individual see the nature of the problem, recognize the consequences, and call the failing by its right name: sin. As long as a person can rationalize the behavior as anything other than what it is, he or she will never be willing to be accountable for the wrongdoing.

Step 2: The struggling soul acknowledges responsibility for sin.
Placing blame will do no good whatsoever. That doesn’t mean others were not involved, nor does it indicate that temptation or pressure didn’t originate elsewhere. However, in the final analysis, a person chooses to sin, and claiming proper responsibility is essential to restoration.

Step 3: The fallen saint repents.
We hope that a person caught in sin will, through conviction of the Holy Spirit, feel remorse, regret, and grief. When Paul spoke to the church about being transformed by the “renewing of your mind” (Rom. 12:2), he knew our way of thinking must change first, and then our actions will follow. Too often, we reverse the order and think our behavior must adjust first. But true repentance begins with our thoughts.

Step 4: The person understands the necessity of making restitution.
This is obvious in the case of stealing, but suppose an individual criticized another person in public? He needs to seek out the one he offended and ask forgiveness. There are some things he can’t make restitution for, however, and he will need to be led carefully through each stage of grief. All of us are recipients of grace, and we must never cause a fallen brother to be defeated by remaining in his guilt.

Step 5: The sinner receives the lesson God wants to teach through the failure.
The one who transgressed may not want to hear this. Sometimes an individual is stubborn and reluctant to learn. Whoever works with such a person in the restoration process needs to help identify what lesson should be learned from the sin and its effects. I’ve come to understand that failure is unprofitable only when we refuse to let it teach us. If we learn and grow, we have not failed—we have taken the opportunity to discover more about ourselves and the Lord.

Step 6: The sinful believer responds to God’s chastisement with gratitude. When we work to restore another person, it’s helpful to point out the following verses written by David: “Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I keep your word,” and “It is good for me that I have been afflicted, that I may learn Your statutes” (Psalm 119:67, 71). The sinner needs to be reminded—gently—that the Lord loves us enough to chastise us and mend our hearts. God is the perfect Parent, who disciplines but will never crush His dearly loved children.

Few of us would seek to be a part of this process, because it involves so much pain. But we should gladly participate when the Holy Spirit leads us to restore hurting people. As pastor and author Gordon MacDonald once said, “The granting of restorative grace is among the greatest and most unique gifts one Christian can give another.” After all, what more thrilling experience could there be than to help a fallen saint back into fellowship with our heavenly Father?

-Adapted from "Charles Stanley’s Handbook for Christian Living" (1996).